Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Tipping and Desis
Why are we such poor tippers?
Most Indians in America are poor tippers – please note that I used the word most, so if you are among the few that tip generously, consider yourself the exception or the minority. So, as I said – we tend to be poor tippers – why?
If I had to generalize it, I would say that most Indians (excluding ABCD’s) come to the U.S. as students or on work visas. So most students or employees, usually hard-pressed for money, calculating the cost of things in comparison to India, commenting on how expensive things are, usually try to save when it comes to tipping. Their rationale is that they paid for the meal – why should they tip? The waiter’s are getting paid for serving them, so shouldn’t that be enough? Not many people know that in a restaurant, waiters make minimum wage, sometimes less and that at the end of the day, tips are collected and divided among the wait-staff and kitchen employees. I don’t know how it works in India, but here, the wait-staff work for tips. They usually try to offer their best service, but sometimes their work load, their moods and perhaps even their stereotypes get the best of them and we see some sour-faced workers who more often than not transfer their angst to us and in the end we walk out justifying this sentiment to our poor tipping percentage.
In India, there is no standard percentage for tipping. If people leave Rs. 5 or Rs 10 for anywhere from a Rs. 150 – Rs. 500 meal, people are happy.
But in the U.S., tipping at restaurants is mandatory, especially if you are eating there. It doesn’t matter if the restaurant is a hole in a wall, it doesn’t matter if it is your neighborhood Chinese joint, nor does it matter if it is your local Indian chaat vala. I noticed that people tend to offer or rather feel obligated to cough up the dough when the restaurant looks fancy and server or waiters are dressed in the traditional black and white attire. But the minute that the savvy Indian recognizes that the restaurant or eatery is a little less than fancy, the rules of tipping change. Now, instead of the standard 15%, it becomes perhaps 2%, perhaps 5% or perhaps nothing, just like it used to be back home.
I remember this one instance when I went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I saw some friends heading out and I said hi, chatted a few minutes with them and asked to be seated. The owner of the restaurant, a sweet Chinese middle-aged lady came up to me and asked me in a surprised tone – “do you know those people?” Yes, I replied, they are my husband’s friends. Well, I don’t want to see them in my restaurant again she said. I was shocked as she was normally really nice. So I asked her what happened and she said that the couple had a full meal for lunch and that when it came time to pay the bill, they paid and left the change, which came up to .35 cents, as the tip. She was furious. I don’t want such people in my restaurant she said, throwing her hands up in the air.
I could read her thoughts – cheap Indian people, she was thinking. Is this the mentality of most immigrants, I wondered, or are we, as Indians, always trying to find the cheapest, fastest, way around things, as we typically do in India? It’s probably a bit of both, but remember this when you walk into a restaurant next – tipping the full 15% is good karma. Get used to this before the standard percentage goes up, as it has in some restaurants in New York City.
Most Indians in America are poor tippers – please note that I used the word most, so if you are among the few that tip generously, consider yourself the exception or the minority. So, as I said – we tend to be poor tippers – why?
If I had to generalize it, I would say that most Indians (excluding ABCD’s) come to the U.S. as students or on work visas. So most students or employees, usually hard-pressed for money, calculating the cost of things in comparison to India, commenting on how expensive things are, usually try to save when it comes to tipping. Their rationale is that they paid for the meal – why should they tip? The waiter’s are getting paid for serving them, so shouldn’t that be enough? Not many people know that in a restaurant, waiters make minimum wage, sometimes less and that at the end of the day, tips are collected and divided among the wait-staff and kitchen employees. I don’t know how it works in India, but here, the wait-staff work for tips. They usually try to offer their best service, but sometimes their work load, their moods and perhaps even their stereotypes get the best of them and we see some sour-faced workers who more often than not transfer their angst to us and in the end we walk out justifying this sentiment to our poor tipping percentage.
In India, there is no standard percentage for tipping. If people leave Rs. 5 or Rs 10 for anywhere from a Rs. 150 – Rs. 500 meal, people are happy.
But in the U.S., tipping at restaurants is mandatory, especially if you are eating there. It doesn’t matter if the restaurant is a hole in a wall, it doesn’t matter if it is your neighborhood Chinese joint, nor does it matter if it is your local Indian chaat vala. I noticed that people tend to offer or rather feel obligated to cough up the dough when the restaurant looks fancy and server or waiters are dressed in the traditional black and white attire. But the minute that the savvy Indian recognizes that the restaurant or eatery is a little less than fancy, the rules of tipping change. Now, instead of the standard 15%, it becomes perhaps 2%, perhaps 5% or perhaps nothing, just like it used to be back home.
I remember this one instance when I went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I saw some friends heading out and I said hi, chatted a few minutes with them and asked to be seated. The owner of the restaurant, a sweet Chinese middle-aged lady came up to me and asked me in a surprised tone – “do you know those people?” Yes, I replied, they are my husband’s friends. Well, I don’t want to see them in my restaurant again she said. I was shocked as she was normally really nice. So I asked her what happened and she said that the couple had a full meal for lunch and that when it came time to pay the bill, they paid and left the change, which came up to .35 cents, as the tip. She was furious. I don’t want such people in my restaurant she said, throwing her hands up in the air.
I could read her thoughts – cheap Indian people, she was thinking. Is this the mentality of most immigrants, I wondered, or are we, as Indians, always trying to find the cheapest, fastest, way around things, as we typically do in India? It’s probably a bit of both, but remember this when you walk into a restaurant next – tipping the full 15% is good karma. Get used to this before the standard percentage goes up, as it has in some restaurants in New York City.
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Well, I will not argue whether Indians in general are poor tippers or not, I think you've demostrated it quite nicely! What I do want to point out, though, is that in the US, restaurant staff expect to be tipped (and are quite annoyed when they don't receive one) because they're poorly paid. So why don't they just ask for better wages? That way, they will not have to rely on the customer to make a "mandatory tip" (which is an oxymoron, according to me) for non-existent services. Of course, this would imply higher prices for the customer, but at least he/she whould be spared the act of parting with 15% of the bill despite not having received a welcoming smile, or having water splashed over the table. Tips are associated with good service, and I think people see it as a moral dilemma to pay one when the service is sub-standard. However, they may not have a problem with paying 15% more for the meal they ordered. In fact, this is what we see in countries like Japan, where tipping is non-existent because the workers are well-paid. This would require a rather thorough overhaul of wages and prices in the restaurant sector, but I'm sure in the end everyone will be happy.
# posted by 
: 5:47 PM
: 5:47 PM
This is an anecdote of Nizam's period during early 20th Century. One Mr. Maharaja Kishan Pershad was heading the government of VII nizam as prime minister. Nizam was the head of the state and he was a subservient ruler under paramount British empire.
Kishan Pershad used to throw coins for beggers who used to wait outside his palace every morning. British Resident , who represents the crown in Hyderabad princely state, was very uncomfortable with the practice. throwing coins at beggers| how uncivilized it is? he felt. Once when Kishan Pershad went for a pilgrimage for few days, the british officials evacuated beggers from the vicinity of the prime minister's palace. After coming back from tour, the Prime Minister started towards his office in his convoy. There were no beggers around the gate| he felt so humiliated. He was told by assistants that the britishers did not like them and fled them away. Kishan Persad, got down from his horse-cart and sat on the floor holding his head with his two hand. "how can I proceed to my office, without giving charity?" -literally he wept.
I cited this example only to highlight the cultural aspect of the social practices. Giving a dime to a helpless person was considered an essential part of the rich during feudal times, which was seen as uncivilised by modern rulers. Now, tipping.. indians are poor tippers..how come values become totally reversed?
Kishan Pershad used to throw coins for beggers who used to wait outside his palace every morning. British Resident , who represents the crown in Hyderabad princely state, was very uncomfortable with the practice. throwing coins at beggers| how uncivilized it is? he felt. Once when Kishan Pershad went for a pilgrimage for few days, the british officials evacuated beggers from the vicinity of the prime minister's palace. After coming back from tour, the Prime Minister started towards his office in his convoy. There were no beggers around the gate| he felt so humiliated. He was told by assistants that the britishers did not like them and fled them away. Kishan Persad, got down from his horse-cart and sat on the floor holding his head with his two hand. "how can I proceed to my office, without giving charity?" -literally he wept.
I cited this example only to highlight the cultural aspect of the social practices. Giving a dime to a helpless person was considered an essential part of the rich during feudal times, which was seen as uncivilised by modern rulers. Now, tipping.. indians are poor tippers..how come values become totally reversed?
# posted by : 11:32 AM
: 11:32 AM
I work at a well known restaurant and everyone I work with, even Indian people I work with, hate it when Indians come in to eat. They ask an endless amount of questions, they demand very precise service, and often times leave less than 10%. This has happened time and time again. I am completely disgusted with their lack of understanding of our culture. If they're going to come to America, and live in America, then they should be expected to abide by the same social laws as everyone else. I have lost all respect for these people and so now I purposefully ignore them and give them terrible service. They are just completely inconsiderate people.
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