Friday, April 14, 2006
To move or not to move – that is the question!
Borrowing and appropriating Shakespeare’s timeless dilemma voiced by Hamlet, this statement is omnipresent in the lives of most Indians living in America. These are first generation Indians who have been in the U.S. for the past 10-15 years, some of whom have teenage kids, others who are establishing their lives here, waiting for their green cards, their citizenship interviews, etc.
Life in the U.S. is definitely not easy. Yes, we have all the material things we need, we are getting the sense of community and culture that we missed earlier in the decade, but it still is a rat-race. Most technical workers have to constantly upgrade their skills so as to not be obsolete. The government’s retirement programs – social security and medicare are in deep trouble and we don’t know if we can rely on it when we retire. With these uncertainties in mind, India seems a comforting thought – but it is India that we left 10 or 15 years ago that we miss – not the India of today.
The India of today is very much like the U.S. People have become ever so busy and don’t seem to have the leisurely life they seemed to have when we grew up. Kids in school are overburdened and burnt out with increasing homework and stress, to make it in competitive entrance exams. Time for cricket or games with the neighboring kids seems to be a thing of the past. Traffic has increased ten-fold, as has the population, but the cities amenities are still 20 years behind or more. The social scene has exploded… Valentine’s Day in India seems to be a bigger deal there, than here. Dating appears to be common-place; scant clothing is not an eye-opener anymore in clubs or parties. Smoking and drinking are commonplace, especially among the younger crowds. So what exactly is the attraction that India has with those of us living in the U.S.? Is it familiarity for things past? The happy memories of our childhood, the yummy food that we sometimes still miss? Are we making a big mistake in wanting the life we had as kids, for our kids? Is that still possible?
Why go back? This is an easy answer to some. They are considerably well off here and have invested in India or are comfortably well off there and can maintain equivalent standards of living. Aging parents will probably top the list of reasons that Indians in the U.S. want to return home. Some will list quality family time with extended family, others will probably want what they had for their children. But most people don’t consider that while they have been away 10-15 years or more, India has changed as much or more in the time that we’ve locked up the country and our lives in our memory lock and key when we left.
The lure of India is hard to miss. It is in the air, so to speak. You can’t escape the daily news coverage of India’s economic boom on the media, in any big American metro. Or, you may know of a friend’s friend who decided to move back, or relatives in India are asking if you’re thinking of coming back. One thing is for sure, most Indians in the U.S. ensure that they have their green cards or acquire citizenship before contemplating the big move. That allows them to leave the back door open you see, for the small, but possible chance that things don’t work out, and they once again come back to the bright lights and big cities, once more to sit on their commuter trains or cars, to go to work.
Granted, things haven’t changed all that much – you can still live considerably well given the resources and connections, you can still get hired help if needed, you can give your children a good education if you can afford it, but can you expect the same job satisfaction or growth that you had in the U.S.? Can you expect a relatively clean, disease-free life? Can you expect the comfort and security of a population that is law-abiding? Can a middle-class Indian family in the U.S. live an upper middle-class life in India without any complications? Can you live again in the same street that houses day laborers at the other end of the street, where the poor, the handicapped and the mentally unstable jostle to be the first to come up to your air-conditioned car to receive the one rupee that you may consider charity? Can you go back to the life of haves and have-nots? Eating, drinking and being merry in the latest bars and restaurants, being invited to the most exclusive parties, creating your next designer outfit while your driver cusses under his breath having to battle through traffic to make sure your car is relatively unscathed.
An American colleague recently made a comment. He asked me in a rhetorical fashion if it would be a supreme sense of irony if Indians working in the U.S. lost their jobs to Indians in India. It took me a while to think about a reply and finally I told him it would be, but that if it did happen, as a worst-case scenario, people would probably move back to India. Whether that is true or not, appears to be seen, but this much is for sure – every one of us is wondering if this is something that will happen to us a few years from now. Then, the question in our minds of whether or not to move back to India, will probably need answering.
