Friday, October 06, 2006
Hinduism - Undefined
I’m not seeking to give you answers to existential questions like the meaning of God, the meaning of life, the meaning of our struggles and the meaning of self.
In fact, I don’t even know where to start with any of these questions. They remain questions, more so at the top of my head when I need answers, when I’m looking for clues to guide me out of the trenches of life. My solace – my religion.
I can’t explain Hinduism to you. I can’t tell what it is without telling you what it isn’t and I’m most likely wrong about it too. People sometimes ask me what the bindi means and why Hindu women wear it on their foreheads and I try to think of a way of telling them that it is a way for us to harness our energies, to guide our third eye, which is at the center of the forehead, approximately a little above where the eyebrows meet. Then I wonder why men don’t wear bindis – don’t they need to harness the energy of their third eye? Isn’t this chakra important to them too? And I get lost in the immensity of this religion… From the spiritual to the mystical to the practical to the logical. How do I explain that we have a God or a deity or a planet for every day of the week, how do I tell you that the ultimate goal is to become one with the Atman, who is neither male nor female, but is energy, how do I convince myself to look past the ritual worship and to not worry about saying mantras.
Then I think, that I may not have to. Each one to his own. I can pray in anyway I want, so if I want to wake up in the morning, bathe, wear clean clothes and recite a few mantras in front of idols, that’s my choice. If I want to meditate on the Atman, that’s my choice. If I want to be one with the female life force, Shakti, that’s my choice. If I want to accept a Guru and follow his/her path, that’s my choice. If I want to forever be in the warm, accepting embrace of Amma, that’s my choice. If I want to be a follower of Shri Shri, that’s my choice.
To me, Hinduism is tolerance, it is love, it is acceptance, it is variety, it is Bhakti. Bhakti at its core is devotion. Devotion means nothing more than faith. Faith that the conviction of your belief will stand by you. Karma is action – action that can make you stay where you are, or action that can help you grow. Maya is a good excuse. It is illusion when you want it be, it is pain, when you let it be and it is hope, when you choose not to let it get to you.
I can’t turn a blind eye to the ills that have been propogated in the name of Hinduism. I wish I can justify it saying that every religion has its share of ills and I can quote a dozen examples. But to do so, will not make things right for me. Was the Caste System a part of religion or a part of society? Can we separate the two? Was misogyny a part of religion or a part of some dysfunctional aspects of Manu’s life? Why should I accept Manu’s dharma – doesn’t my religion give me enough without having to follow his path? Am I not being a good Hindu when I don’t accept Manu’s philosophy?
While these questions exist, they don’t make enough of a dent for me to question Hinduism’s basic principles. That we are a part of the Whole, that to be good is to do good and that your actions will catch up with you in this life or the next unless you pray for salvation. The question is – does praying for salvation get you there? Or is living your life in a rightful way enough?
There are plenty of books that I can read that will help answer these questions. But deep down, I know the answer. No matter how much I look for signs to help me make the right decisions, I make my decisions. I choose my actions, I follow the path of my own making. I know that had I made different choices when I was younger, and perhaps wiser, my life would be different now. But would it still be worth the same in terms of the experience and reward you get from hindsight? Would I have made different choices, or would Karma lead me to the same destination regardless? Is my life that of a puppet, guided by fate and destiny or am I free to make my own choice?
I pray for faith, for Bhakti, and for forgiveness in not having complete faith at times, for understanding that Lord Vishnu or Durga Maa will be with me even when I sin and for love that my Guru Saibaba taught through living his life by example. This is what Hinduism means to me.
